"They're stuck with a problem: Conjoined twins develop a rift when one of them falls in love."
-- DVD description for the episode
Two conjoined twins named Eddie and Frank (Eddie being a jerk and Frank the good twin) have always had their differences, For years they could never find a doctor who can help them with their problem. After a miserable night on the town, Eddie and Frank went to a doctor Eddie had found who told them he can help seperate them, but to do the operation both Eddie and Frank need to sign a medical release, and of course Eddie wrote his name first. However Frank has second thoughts about the operation due to there being a 50% chance of death, and needs some more time to think about the operation. The doctor then clarifies that until Frank signs his name, they won't get the operation.That night at their home, Eddie tries to convice Frank to sign his name on the release, by telling Frank the positives of being seperated; such as they can go to the bathroom by themselves without the other, Frank wouldn't have to go to the places Eddie would want such as a baseball game or Las Vegas, sleep in his own bed (in which Frank can finally roll over) and that Frank can even finally take that cooking class in Paris he always dreamt of. Frank finally begins to warm to the idea to which Eddie reveals that he got the release form and coerces Frank to sign it. But Frank, still unsure of his choice, stops himself. Suddenly, Frank get a phone call from Maria (from the bar in the opening) who asks Frank if she can see him again. Frank, very happy with this development, agrees.
On Friday night, while cleaning himself up, Frank sees Eddie as a mess and tells him he hasn't showered in a week. Eddie responds by telling him he'll wash up if Frank will sign the release, but Frank refuses once again and tells him they are going to the symphony. After the symphony, While Frank and Maria are walking together while holding each other's arm, Eddie is shown to have not cleaned up (having been shown wearing the same pajama shirt worn in the previous scene) as well as acting rude to the people in attendance, even going as far to ruin Frank and Maria's date by getting drunk, in which it is revealed that Frank will get drunk too. After Maria leaves, Frank admits that even with Eddie's interferace, Frank had a good time and that he's in love.
A few weeks later while Frank and Maria are shown in bed (with their clothes on) Eddie is shown to having sex with a black prostitute, After both Maria and the prostitute go to the bathroom, Frank warns Eddie about his actions. Inside the bathroom Maria is approached by the prositiute and, while doing her makeup, informs Maria that if she can get Frank to sign the release form, then Frank and Eddie will be free from each other.When both Maria and the prostiute emerge from the bathroom, Frank apologizes for Eddie's behavior and asks Maria to give him one more chance. Maria then tells Frank she can't be with him if he is still attatched to Eddie and leaves him. Frank tries to go after Maria, but can't due to the fact Eddie was handcuffed to the bed. Eddie (heavily intoxicated) eventually gives Frank the key. Frank quickly tries to uncuff him and drag a reluctant Eddie to stop Maria, only to hear her car leave. Frank blames Eddie for ruining his one chance of love and after getting into a fight in the house, Frank finally decides to sign the release form. However, just before Frank can sign the release form, Maria returns and reveals that she has feelings for Frank. She also reveals that she was hired by Eddie to convince Frank to sign the form, only to fall for Frank herself. Both share a brief embrace, only to have Eddie suddenly kill her by stabbing her in the back with a knife in a fit of psychotic rage, stating "Double crossin' bitch wouldn't kkep her mouth shut!"
Eddie calls 911 and nonchalantly informs them of his crime. Eddie then tells a panic and grief stricken Frank that if he gets arrested, they won't be able to kill him because Frank, who is not to blame, will die too. Frank, in a state of grief stricken rage, quickly tries to overdose on Eddie's sleeping pills and alcohol. Eddie passes out before he can stop Frank, who then proceeds to write his name on the form in Maria's blood before finally passing out himself.The next day, both Eddie and Frank wake up on the same hospital bed. Eddie is informed that he has some visitors who are revealed to be the police with a warrant for Eddie's arrest. Eddie, amused by this turn of events tells Frank that " There's really nothin' he can do, seeing as how we're freaks". Frank then smiles and states "We're not freaks Eddie", (he then turns to face Eddie) "We're free". Eddie's smug expressions slowly fades as one of the policemen pulls Eddie's bed revealing that both of them had underwent the operation and, as a result, no longer joined. Frank then reveals that he signed the release form and states that "he did a pretty good job, don't you think?". Eddie then begins to plead manically to Frank as the police handcuff him to the bed, screaming "They're gonna put me in the gas chamber!" while being wheeled away. Frank relaxes on his hospital bed relieved to finally be free from Eddie. When the nurse plumps his pillow, he makes a very sexually suggestive to the nurse, which could possibly mean he has acquired some of Eddie's mannerisms.
Opening Segment Edit"Are you alone tonight? Well, consider yourself lucky...there could be two of you. And imagine what a fright-mare that could be."
[Crypt Keeper looks at himself in the mirror and gasps]
"Just a reflection. Not so for tonight's stars, Frank and Eddie. Two brothers who are touchingly close. When a woman tries to come between them, she finds herself caught in a tangled web of jealousy and intrigue. I think you'll find it a twinning combination. So without futher ado, I bring you My Brother's Keeper."
Closing SegmentEdit"Well, maggot-meisters, how's that for a cheeky little tale? Frank sure picked a deadly time to sever all thighs with his brother. And poor Eddie suffered the unkindest cut of all-
[Crypt Keeper shatters the mirror]
"-a real split personality."
- The title is from the common expression: I am not my brother's keeper.