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"Timber! A group of lumberjacks have a way of cutting their cruel boss and his predatory wife down to size."

-- DVD description for the episode


Plot Edit

A waitress named Liz Kelly (Michelle Johnson) at a small bar marries a local lumberjack named Steve ( James) after a quick meeting.  When Steve becomes too controlling, Liz looks elsewhere and finds a young lumberjack named Ted (Billy Wirth).  Steve has a jealous temper and when Ted pays the price, revenge could be deadly.

Liz is a woman of loose morals who has been stranded in a forest community, presumably in the Pacific Northwest. To leave this place, she took a job as a barmaid in order to earn money to buy a bus ticket out. She is sexually harassed by a rude patron one night, but saved by Steve Dixon, the owner of a logging camp. After a very brief courtship, which consisted of a few beers and a slow dance, Steve asks Liz to marry him, claiming his logging camp is very profitable and he can provide for her. Struggling for most her life, Liz agrees. She eventually becomes bored with life and after seeing handsome new worker Ted decides to seduce him, he initially tries to resist but gives in only to be caught by Steve who strikes Ted after Liz claims it to be rape. Ted survives but is left permanently blind, the other lumberjacks take their revenge on both Steve and Liz by tying them inside two big logs and tricking Ted into sawing them in three.

Opening Segment Edit

SSopening
"Sometimes life can be such a grind. Know what I mean? That's why I like to get out every now and then and swing a little."

[Crypt Keeper throws ax off screen and a man screams]

"So much for his family tree. Tonight's tale concerns a young woman who's about to do a little swinging of her own. She wants to prove that a good man is hard to find but easy to get rid of. I think you'll like this little chopping spree I call, "Split Second."

Closing Segment Edit

SSclosing
"Now, that's what I call sushi roll. I guess Liz was right. A good man is hard to find especially after he's been cut into so many pieces. I've got a little chopping to do of my own. It's my producer's birthday. He's always wanted final cut, and that's exactly what he's getting."


Trivia Edit

  • Shot on some of the sets used in the television series Twin Peaks.

Gallery Edit